A Scandalous Deception Read online

  Fin’s hand smoothed up and down her back. “Shh,” he soothed. “I’m here. I’m here, sweetheart. Just take a breath.”

  But all she could do was cry. Tears flooded down her face, soaking his jacket and cravat through. But still the tears kept coming, the tears she’d tried so hard to never shed, the tears she’d tried so hard to pretend weren’t always right beneath the surface, the tears for her child who had never had a chance. “Tr-trauma,” she struggled to get the words out. “Th-tha’s what Doctor Watts said.”

  “Trauma?” Fin echoed, still caressing her back, still giving her whatever peace he could.

  Lissy nodded against his chest, trying to remember exactly what the London doctor had said. “The trauma I suffered—” she took a staggering breath “—would make it nearly impossible for me to conceive.” She stared at Fin’s tear-soaked cravat, but all she saw was nothingness. “He said the word so many times that day I never wanted to hear it again. B-but I still do. At night, when no one else is around I hear it in the recesses of my mind.”

  “Oh, Lissy.” He peppered the top of her head with soft kisses as though they could erase the memories plaguing her. “My dear, sweet Lissy, I’m so sorry.” Then he simply held her against him, gentle but firm, offering his love and comfort in the most quiet of ways.

  Goodness, she loved him, with every bit of her heart and soul. There was no better man in all the world. She could have stayed there forever, wrapped in the safety of his arms. The only time she’d ever truly been safe, she’d been with him. He’d comforted her after Papa had passed, he’d comforted her when she’d returned home and learned of Georgie’s death, and now he comforted her once again.

  “My poor, sweet Felicity,” he cooed after what seemed like a lifetime. “My darling girl. I am so sorry about everything. If I’d known…”

  “There’s nothing you could have done,” she said softly, pulling herself back together a bit. “There’s nothing anyone could have done. He was my husband.”

  “Husband?” Fin scoffed. “He bound you to his bed. He was your captor and tormentor.”

  “That too,” she agreed.

  “He’s damned lucky he’s dead. I’d—”

  “He’s not dead.” The words flew from her before she could stop them. She hadn’t meant to tell him that part. She’d never meant to tell him any of it. But really, what was the point in keeping that secret any longer? Perhaps now he’d understand.

  “I beg your pardon.” He pulled back slightly as though to see her better. Anger and disbelief flashing in the depths of his brown eyes.

  “That’s why I can’t marry you, Fin.” She looked away once more, unable to see the pain and fury flashing in his eyes. “I’m not free. I’ll never be free.”

  “Aaron Pierce is alive?” Fin’s fingers tightened on her shoulders. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  Fin’s mind was awhirl. Damn it all, the things she described where truly beyond comprehension. As hard as it was to believe, Lissy had endured an even worse fate than Georgie had. Until this moment, he hadn’t known it was possible to hate anyone more than he’d hated the late-Marquess of Teynham. But Aaron Pierce was an even more despicable villain. Binding her to a bed and leaving her for days on end, doing God knew what to her in the meantime. And causing her to lose her child!

  If Fin hadn’t been holding Lissy, he would have balled his hand into a fist. That damned bastard was alive? Was that true? If Fin ever got his hands on the monster, he wouldn’t breathe another breath, there wouldn’t be a safe corner in the world for Pierce to hide. How quickly could he get to Boston?

  He glanced down at Lissy in his arms, who’d begun trembling again. Truly, he could not have heard her correctly. It wasn’t possible that Aaron Pierce was alive. It just wasn’t.

  “Sally helped me,” Lissy said softly, not even daring to lift her gaze to meet his, but staring instead at the onyx pin in the middle of his tear-drenched cravat. “When I lost the baby, I was beside myself. All I could think about was finding a way home, anyway I could. Something I’d thought about many times before, of course. But at that moment there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done.” She shook her head as though memories were flooding her thoughts. “Aaron went to sea that very afternoon. He wasn’t supposed to be gone long. A week or so at the most, but it was my chance to escape. And I wouldn’t have made it without Sally.”

  “How did you escape?” He had no idea how she could have managed it.

  Lissy took a deep breath and finally lifted her gaze to meet Fin’s. “She sawed through the bindings with a blade, then we left it in the middle of the blood stained bedclothes so it would like I’d managed to free myself. I wrote Aaron a letter saying that my will to live was gone. I told him I was going to slash my wrists and leap from a bridge into the bay so I could join my child in the next world.”

  Good God! Fin’s mouth dropped open in horror at the image she painted in his mind.

  “He had to think I was dead,” she continued, blinking back another deluge of tears, “or he would have come after me, Fin. I left him the note so he wouldn’t look for me,” she explained, though her voice sounded so distant all of a sudden. “Then I fled to New York with just the clothes on my back and sought passage on the first ship destined for England that I could find.”

  “And then told everyone here that your husband was dead,” Fin finished for her.

  Lissy nodded. “I didn’t have any other choices. Everyone knew I’d gotten married. I had to say something.”

  So she chose an enormous lie over the truth? “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his mind still spinning. He hadn’t been in love with her then, but he’d always loved her. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t have done to keep her safe. Surely, she’d always known that.

  Lissy pushed out of his embrace and turned her back to him. “I couldn’t risk anyone sending me back to him.”

  Sending her back to him! Of all the damned things to say! “You think Luke and Juliet would send you back to him?” His voice raised an octave in frustration. “You think I would send you back to him?” The idea that she thought he would do something so terrible made his blood nearly boil. Didn’t she know him at all?

  She spun around to face him once more. “He’s my husband. I belong to him, Fin. You wouldn’t have had any say in the matter.”

  “The hell I wouldn’t,” Fin growled. “If he had taken a step in your direction I’d have slayed him where he stood.” At her frightened expression, Fin heaved a sigh and tried to soften his voice. “I know powerful people, Felicity. Liverpool is an ally. We can…Well, we can do something. We’ll get the marriage dissolved, annulled, something.”

  “I hardly think an annulment is possible.”

  Why was she being so damned difficult? He was trying to help her. “Anything is possible with the right allies. No one even consulted your guardian for permission for your marriage, for God’s sake. We can certainly use that to our advantage.”

  She began to shake as though a tremor raced through her. “But then he’ll know I’m alive,” she said so softly he barely heard her. Terror flashed in her eyes and Fin’s heart ached for her all over again.

  One way or the other, he’d free Lissy from that union if it was the last thing he ever did, no matter the cost, be it financial, personal or political. “He’ll never touch you again, Lissy, I swear it.” If Aaron Pierce ever stepped foot on English soil…

  “You don’t know him, Fin.” She shook her head. “If he knows I’m alive…”

  “Trust me, Lissy.” He stepped towards her and grasped her hands, bringing them to his lips. “I’ll never let him hurt you again. That is a promise.”

  Her blue eyes blinked back more tears, but she looked to be wavering a bit, which was the first bit of hope for a future together she’d given him since they’d made love.

  “And when this is through, tell me you’ll marry me.”

  “I want to say yes,” she said quickly. “But I don’t k
now if I’m ready for that, Fin.”

  “Then I’ll wait until you are,” he vowed. After he was done with Aaron Pierce and once Lissy was free, he’d do whatever it took to win her hand.

  “And what if I’m never ready?” she asked. “I may never be ready, you know? You shouldn’t waste your life waiting for me.”

  “Waiting for you would never be a waste.” He brushed his fingers across her soft cheek.

  She smiled sadly. “But I may never be ready, Fin. I don’t want to lie to you. Marriage…Well, it’s so permanent and more than bit frightening.”

  It would have to be after what she’d endured. But their life together would be vastly different. “If you’re never ready, then I suppose I’ll settle for loving you and—” he winked at her “—living the rest of my days in sin.”

  A laugh escaped her, which did warm his heart a bit. “Be serious.”

  “Have you ever known me to be otherwise?”

  “You are mad.” She shook her head, but she was smiling so Fin simply nodded in return.

  “Apparently.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her brow. “But I’ll take you any way I can have you.” Then he dipped his head lower and kissed her again, ever so gently. She tasted like the sweetest, purest heaven, though a bit salty from her tears. Damn it all, she didn’t deserve what she’d suffered. If there was a way for Fin to ease her pain and calm her fears, he’d do it without hesitation.

  After a moment, Lissy pushed back from him. “But, Fin, odds are I’ll never be able to give you an heir. You deserve someone who can give you that.”

  And if they never had children, his heart would be heavy; but there was no point in worrying about something that might or might not be. “Then I suppose a distant cousin will inherit, because I’m never giving you up, Lissy. So stop worrying about things we don’t have control of.”

  A sob burst free from her, and Lissy threw her arms around his neck once more. Fin held her trembling body close, caressing her back, murmuring words of love and adoration against her ear and vowing to care for her all of his days.

  But first things first. Her marriage had to be dealt with sooner, rather than later. “Just as soon as I can, I’ll start for London.”

  “London?” she echoed, gazing up into his eyes.

  “Today. Now.” He nodded. ”The sooner I get there, the sooner I can sort out what can be done, sweetheart.”

  “Now?” She frowned. “But your carriage isn’t even here yet, a-and the baby…”

  The baby. Now he knew, or suspected he did, why she’d fainted in Juliet’s room. Who knew what awful memories would plague her the rest of the day while she waited for her new niece or nephew to finally emerge in the world? “Or tomorrow.” He caressed her cheek. “Do you want me to stay today, sweetheart?”

  Her blue eyes lightened a bit as though a fog had been lifted from them. “Please.”

  Fin smiled. He could deny her nothing. He didn’t suspect he’d ever be able to. “Tomorrow it is, then.”

  “Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?”

  Fin’s smile widened and his heart lifted at her eagerness to stay with him. “More than anything, but it might be better for you to stay here with Juliet and Luke.”

  “But you’ll hurry back?”

  He nodded quickly. “As quickly as I possibly can, Lissy.”

  Ben squealed with joy as Fin tossed him into the air, and Lissy couldn’t help but laugh. They were a pair. Ben had always made Fin seem so carefree, so boyish. It would truly be a shame if he never had children of his own. Her heart twisted a bit at the maudlin thought. Doctor Watts hadn’t said it was impossible for her to bear children, just that the odds were unlikely she could do so. But she’d beaten the odds before, hadn’t she? Escaping Aaron’s clutches had certainly been unlikely. She pushed all of those awful memories away, however, as she didn’t want to dwell on them at the moment.

  Fin was right. There was no use worrying about something neither of them had control of. Besides, with Ben giggling and Fin looking so happy, living in the moment seemed a much better choice.

  From the nursery threshold, Annie cleared her throat.

  Lissy rose from her seat and grinned at her maid, so very happy to see her. “Oh, Annie! You made it. Are you feeling better today?”

  Her maid nodded and stepped into the nursery. “Chivers is resting in his quarters, but I am good as new, my lady.”

  “I am glad to hear it.”

  “How is Chivers?” Fin asked, catching Ben about the middle and stepping closer to the maid.

  “His leg is bandaged, but he’s in a fair amount of pain. The innkeeper’s son drove the carriage today. I hope that was all right.”

  “Of course.” Fin nodded. “I’m so sorry to have abandoned you both.”

  Lissy’s cheeks warmed a bit. It was, after all, her fault Chivers and Annie had been abandoned. “As am I.”

  The look Annie cast Lissy said better than words could that she knew something had transpired, but she’d never say so aloud. “Keeton saw the man was well compensated and has returned him to the inn.”

  “Good of him to do so,” Fin replied.

  Annie glanced back at Lissy and said, “Lady Juliet is asking for you.”

  “For me?” Lissy’s voice was so soft she barely heard it herself.

  “Apparently, she’d like for you to meet your niece.”

  Lissy released a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. It was almost as though a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders with those words. Thank heavens Jules was all right! Lissy was a terrible sister to have abandoned Juliet in her time of need. If her sister never forgave her, she’d be well within her rights.

  “A girl?” Fin said, and though Lissy wasn’t looking at him, she could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Georgina,” Annie confirmed.

  Georgina. A sob lodged in Lissy’s throat. Oh, dear God. It was Georgie’s birthday. And now… She glanced over at Fin to see him brush a tear from his cheek. Her heart stung a bit. Not from any jealousy over her departed sister, but just from the void Georgie’s absence still was.

  But now there was a little girl, born on her birthday, bearing her name. It was almost as though Georgie was there with them in spirit.

  “Thank you, Annie,” Lissy managed to find her voice. “I’ll be right there.”

  “A girl?” Ben sounded most dejected.

  Lissy turned slightly to see her nephew in Fin’s arms. A laugh escaped her. “Sisters are the most wonderful things in the world, I’ll have you know. “ At least hers were. Kind-hearted, dutiful Georgie, who had only ever wanted the best for Lissy. Brave Juliet who would take on the world if it was required of her. And they’d been saddled with…Lissy in return. All of a sudden, she felt very small and unimportant, filled with remorse for things she hadn’t done, filled with regret for things she had done.

  “Well, I’ll be certain not to mention that bit to Edmund.” Fin quirked a grin at her, and Lissy’s spirit lifted just a bit.

  Who knew he had the ability to make her feel better when darkness threatened to encroach upon her? She tipped her head back regally like any good duke’s daughter had been trained from birth to do and said, “I’m certain Edmund is quite aware of the fact already.”

  Fin laughed. “I’m certain he is.” The look he cast her, so filled with adoration, warmed Lissy from the inside out.

  She wasn’t certain how her fortunes had changed, but she knew they most definitely had. Phineas Granard was the most wonderful man she’d ever known and by some grace of God he loved her, was determined to right the wrongs in her life, even the ones she’d caused herself. She was, without a doubt, the luckiest girl in all the world. She hoped that if Georgie could see the two of them, that she’d wish them well. Knowing Georgie as she always had, Lissy was certain that her sister would be happy for them.

  She brushed away a tear that had come for nowhere, took a deep breath and said, “I’ll make certa
in to tell your little sister what a wonderful big brother she has.” Then she left the nursery and started for her sister’s bedchambers.

  Once she reached Juliet’s domain, there was no need to knock. The door was open and Luke’s laughter drifted out into the hallway. Lissy poked her head inside to find Juliet propped up against pillows in bed. Luke was sitting in the chair nearby, bouncing a little bundle in his arms, staring at the child as though all of the answers to life’s mysteries could be found right there in her depths.

  “You called for me?” Lissy asked from the threshold.

  Juliet and Luke both glanced to the doorway and both smiled in welcome. Jules, though she looked exhausted and paler than she had earlier in the day, reached her arms out towards the doorway and said, “Come here, Lis.”

  Lissy stepped into the bedchambers and Luke pushed out of his chair. “Do come meet Georgina. I daresay she is the prettiest little girl in all the world.”

  Lissy couldn’t help but laugh. Luke truly was a proud papa. She crossed the floor and peered into the bundle in Luke’s arms. The bluest eyes she’d ever seen blinked up at her. The baby didn’t look a thing like Georgie. She had her father’s nose and the shape of his eyes. It was probably a blessing to not resemble one’s namesake, however. “She’s beautiful,” she said softly.

  “Do you want to hold her?” Luke asked.

  Lissy nodded quickly. She’d never held a newborn. Ben had been a couple months old before she’d ever laid eyes on him. And Juliet had played nursemaid to Edmund all those years ago.

  “Sit where I was,” Luke directed.

  Dutifully, she moved to her brother-in-law’s vacated chair and took the seat. Then Luke turned and gently placed baby Georgina in her arms.

  “Just be careful with her head,” he advised as he rose back to his full height. “They’re wobbly at this age.”