A Scandalous Deception Read online

  “Are you all right?” Lissy whispered, wishing she had some clue what to do.

  Juliet released her breath, though her pretty features were still tinged with pain. “Just a contraction.”

  “A contraction!” Lissy touched a hand to her heart. Good heavens! The baby was coming now? “I’ll send for Doctor Perkins,” she said, and would have scrambled off the bed, but her sister grasped her hand and squeezed.

  “Don’t go,” she pleaded. “He’ll be along soon enough, but you just got here. And you were going to tell me all the news from Town.”

  Was she? It was hard to remember anything at this point.

  “Truly, Lissy, it wasn’t even a painful one. Do give me something else to think about. What did I miss this Season?”

  Lissy sat a little taller, trying to focus on the most interesting news from London, something her sister might be interested in. “Well,” she began, “let’s see. Lucinda Potts ran off to Gretna with the new Lord Brookfield.”

  “He has to be better than the old Lord Brookfield, doesn’t he?”

  On that they could agree. “Even with his scandalous reputation, I don’t imagine he could be worse.” Lissy smiled. “What else? Oh, speaking of rogues, Olivia and Kelfield are in Town for the season this year. And she was welcomed more warmly than she has been in the past.”

  “That is good.” Julie smiled. “Poor girl has had a rough time of it.”

  And had ever since a certain house party at Prestwick Chase a few years back. But that was what happened when one did foolish things like fall in love with notorious rakes, one’s reputation took a beating, something the new Lady Brookfield would soon find out. Even so, it had to be a much better choice than running off and marrying a sadistic ship’s captain on the other side of the world, so Olivia Kelfield and Lucinda Brookfield had Lissy there.

  She shook her head, determined not to focus on that last bit. “Cordie and Clayworth are in residence too, but…” But she probably shouldn’t mention her friend’s miscarriage, at least not during her sister’s current state. Foolish, foolish thing to say.

  “But?” Juliet’s brown eyes widened expectantly.

  Lissy frowned. Changing topics was most certainly necessary. “Jules, do you know of any gentlemen who owe Clayworth a large debt?”

  “A gambling debt?” her sister asked. “Luke might know, but I—”

  “I didn’t get the feeling it was gambling related.” Lissy shook her head. “You remember Bella Winslett? My friend from that ladies’ academy Georgie had insisted upon?”

  “Of course. Shy girl.” Juliet’s brow furrowed as though she was trying to remember more clearly. “Her brother is Lord Gillingham, isn’t he?”

  Lissy nodded, then told her sister everything about Bella Winslett, her awful Prussian cousin, Lissy’s plan for a pretend betrothal, and Cordie’s mysterious mention of a fellow who owed Clayworth a rather large debt. By the time she was through with her tale, Juliet was giggling and protectively holding her belly with both arms.

  “Heavens, Lissy!” she laughed.

  “Well, I had to do something,” Lissy replied. “It’s not fair that Bella should be forced to marry some horrid Prussian against her will. And Gillingham is no help at all. Foxed all the time. He even cast up his accounts upon some fellow at the Astwicks’ not too long ago.”

  A look of horror splashed upon her sister’s face. “That is awful.”

  Indeed. Poor Bella. Hopefully she was faring well with Cordie back in London. “At least you’re amused. Fin was…” Lissy’s smile faded.

  “Fin was what?” Juliet asked.

  Heavens, it would be easier if she didn’t think about Fin every few minutes. “Fin was Fin. Quite angry about the entire thing.”

  Her sister draped an arm around Lissy’s shoulder and squeezed her affectionately. “Well, I think you’re brilliant. You might even put Caroline Staveley to shame with your genius.”

  “High praise, indeed.” Lissy grinned in response. After all, Juliet’s sister-in-law was known for her wildly successful scheming over the years.

  “Oh, for God’s sake, don’t encourage her,” Fin said from the threshold, and Lissy’s merriment vanished in an instant. “It was all I could do to keep her from embroiling Edmund in this madness.”

  “Fin!” Juliet reached out a hand towards him, completely unaware that his presence made Lissy’s heart race and break all at the same time. “I am so glad to see you. Thank you so much for bringing Lissy to me.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Fin replied, stepping further into Juliet’s chambers.

  His eyes strayed to Lissy and heated her skin anew. Blast it all. How was she supposed to behave normally when just a glance from him could set her aflame?

  “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” he asked her sister as he reached the edge of the bed.

  Juliet winced and said, “Perfectly miserable. But I’m having this baby today, no matter what. I am glad you’re both here for it.”

  That was a thing to say. Lissy couldn’t help but laugh. “Fairly certain it doesn’t work that way, Jules.”

  But her sister sat straight up in bed, or as straight as she was able in her current state. “I dare the gods to defy me. I’ve been suffering contractions all week long. And this baby is coming today.” Then she focused all of her attention on Fin and said, “You do know what today is, don’t you?”

  He frowned for just a moment and then bestowed Juliet with his most charming smile. “Georgie’s birthday,” he replied, and a twinge of jealousy stung Lissy, which was ridiculous. Why shouldn’t Fin remember Georgie’s birthday? And why should she feel jealous that he did? For heaven’s sake, she was Lissy’s sister. But he’d said he loved Lissy, and…Well, he’d loved Georgie too. She’d always known that. But none of that was neither here nor there. She couldn’t have Fin anyway, so what did it matter if he knew without a moment’s hesitation that today was Georgie’s birthday or not? It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t bother her in the least. But it did.

  Juliet clapped her hands together. “Your memory is much better than Luke’s.”

  His brown eyes twinkled with mirth. “Would you think less of me if I admitted that he’s the one who reminded me?”

  “Fin!” Juliet’s mouth dropped open.

  “Sorry, Jules. I have been preoccupied of late.” He shrugged and then continued, “Do I get credit for my honesty?”

  “An honest politician.” Juliet laughed. “Such a novelty.” And then she sucked in a swift breath of air and squeezed Lissy’s hand so hard, Lissy thought her fingers might break off in her sister’s grasp. “Fin,” Juliet said through clenched teeth, “would you please get Luke for me? And ask someone to send for Doctor Perkins?”

  Lissy sucked in a quick breath of her own. The baby was coming! Oh, good heavens! Panic gripped her heart and Juliet squeezed her hand even harder.

  “Of course. Of course.” Fin nodded quickly and then rushed from Juliet’s chambers.

  “Jules,” Lissy said, trying to retrieve her hand from her sister. “You are hurting me.”

  “Oh!” Juliet instantly released Lissy’s hand. “Sorry.” She looked so frightened all of a sudden, which did nothing to calm Lissy’s nerves. Heavens! Juliet had been through this before. Why in the world did she look frightened now?

  “Are you all right?” she asked, for lack of anything intelligent to say.

  Juliet nodded tightly. “I’m just so glad you’re here.”

  Though Lissy would do anything for Juliet, she did wish she was anywhere but here right now. She wasn’t a good nursemaid, not as far as birthing babies went. She never had been. And the panic that was coursing through her veins made it more than clear that she wouldn’t start being a good one today. Actually, breathing was becoming a bit difficult. And the little flashes of light circling her vision made her a bit…light headed. And…

  “L—i—ssy?” Juliet’s voice sounded so far away…

  Fin’s heart squeezed in his c
hest at the sight of Lissy’s limp form on the bed. Beckford had, of course, raced from his study to Juliet’s chambers as soon as Fin found him. The man had bolted through The Chase in record time, though Fin was right on his heels the whole way.

  As soon as they crossed the threshold, Luke had rushed to Juliet’s side; but Fin had only been able to gape as his eyes landed on Lissy, in a lifeless heap beside her sister. “What happened?” he breathed out.

  “She’s having the baby!” Luke barked. “What do you think?”

  “He means Lissy,” Juliet said between gritted teeth. Then her dark eyes met Fin’s, and she added, “Smelling salts. She fainted.”

  Fainted? “Oh, good God!” He started for the bed. Where the devil did Juliet keep her smelling salts?

  “Take her to her room, Fin,” Luke called. “Juliet should have all the space she needs.”

  Without another thought, Fin scooped Lissy up in his arms, jostling her just a bit. Then he started for the corridor, promising to have Keeton send for Doctor Perkins at once. But his sole focus was on Lissy.

  She’d fainted! How truly strange. She’d tended to Chivers as quickly as any army field surgeon, tearing her nightrail into usable strips, binding his broken leg without so much as a blink. But the early stages of her sister’s child labor had caused her to faint? She was, without a doubt, a complete dichotomy. He could spend the rest of his life with her and he’d never figure her out. Honestly, life with her would never be dull. But then he’d known that already. Life with her would also be immeasurably happy and maddening and completely joyous.

  A little maid darted in front of Fin and he called, “Do have Keeton send for Doctor Perkins. Lady Juliet does appear to be having her babe today.”

  “Oh!” the girl exclaimed. “Right away, my lord.” Then she bustled down the corridor as quickly as her feet would carry her.

  In his arms, Lissy squirmed a bit and her brow crinkled as though she was in pain or starting to come to. Then her pretty blue eyes fluttered open. She sucked in a surprised breath when she looked up at him, as though she wasn’t certain why he was carrying her, but she didn’t struggle against him and she didn’t say anything at all. She just held his gaze and Fin was certain that he’d never been so enthralled by so innocent an expression before in his life.

  “Are you all right?” he finally asked.

  “I think so.” She nodded slowly. “What happened?”

  “You fainted.” He rounded the corner towards her chambers.

  “I’m certain I can walk on my own, Fin.”

  Truly, she could do anything she set her mind on, but that didn’t mean she should. “And yet I’ll carry you the rest of the way anyway.”

  “You are stubborn,” she returned without heat, resting her head against his chest, making him yearn for her anew.

  “And the raven chides blackness,” he teased.

  Lissy tilted her head upwards to see him better. “Don’t think to charm me with Shakespeare.”

  “No Shakespeare?” He jostled her in his arms again, lifting her higher against his chest. “How should I charm you, then, Lissy? Any advice is more than welcome.”

  She glanced away from him. “And don’t think to take advantage of me in my weakened state.”

  “Is your state weakened?”

  Her gaze slowly lifted to his once more. “My state always seems to be weakened with you.”

  That was a good sign. Fin couldn’t help but smile.

  “Now you’re going to be all arrogant about it,” she complained. “Do put be down, Fin.”

  But they were already at her door. So Fin waited until after he’d stepped into her room, and then he lowered Lissy down to her feet. She stared up at him with her cerulean gaze, and Fin brushed his fingers across the apple of her cheek. “Beautiful,” he whispered.

  She pressed her cheek against his hand, like a kitten wanting to be stroked. Then she sighed. “You are making quite the habit of entering my bedchambers without an invitation.”

  Fin shrugged just a bit. “A habit I’m in no hurry to break.” He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to hers.

  Lissy grasped the edge of his jacket as though to steady herself, kissing him back ever so softly.

  Fin slid his arm around her waist, securing her against him, reveling in the feel of her softness pressed against his chest. He could stand there with her like this for a lifetime. No quarreling, no pretenses, just the two of them, clinging to each other as though they were the only two people in the world.

  He tangled his tongue with hers, delighting in the soft mewling sounds that escaped her every so often. He gently sucked her plump bottom lip and the memory of holding her naked form, of joining his body with hers, washed over Fin and he deepened their kiss.

  But then she pressed slightly against his chest and took a step away from him. At once Fin felt the loss. What he wouldn’t do to have her back in his arms right now. “Lissy, I know I’m not the only one who feels this.”

  Of course he wasn’t. But what was she supposed to do, encourage him? Lissy shook her head. “Please don’t, Fin.”

  He heaved a sigh, studying her as intently as a student preparing for an examination. “Tell me you don’t love me, Lissy. Tell me that and I’ll leave you be.”

  But she couldn’t tell him that. He’d see right through her, like he always did. “Why are you making this so difficult?”

  “Because I love you,” he said. “Because I’m trying to understand.”

  There was nothing to understand. There could never be anything between them and that was that. “You don’t want me, Fin. I’m not any good for you.”

  “I do want you. I want you more than anything.” He took her in his arms once more.

  Lissy shook her head, no longer able to look at him. “I’m damaged. I’m not who you think I am. Please just leave it at that.”

  He scoffed. “Leave it at that? You mean leave you, don’t you? I love you, Lissy. I adore you. I’m not going to leave it at that. Help me understand. Tell me what this is about. Tell me what happened with Pierce.”

  She would have pulled away from him if he wasn’t holding her so tightly. The last thing she wanted to do was relive her life with Aaron. But she was tired of fighting Fin over this. He truly was a most stubborn man. So she sagged a bit against him instead. At least with Fin she’d always been safe. “He wasn’t who I thought he was,” she breathed out.

  He said nothing, almost as though he was holding his breath, afraid she wouldn’t continue if he made a sound. Perhaps he was right. She’d never uttered these words to another living soul. She hadn’t ever even spoken them aloud to herself.

  “I thought him the most handsome of men,” she admitted, even smiling a little as she remembered how innocent she’d been at that time. Heavens, she’d been just an idiot to marry Aaron. “He’d been so attentive, so charming as he courted me, and I was young and foolish, easily duped. I fell for his entire performance and by the time I realized what and who he was, it was too late. I was already married to him.”

  Memories started to play about the corners of her mind and instead of pushing them away as she usually did, Lissy let them rush into her thoughts, almost as though she was seeing herself in a play on the stage.

  She took a staggering breath as long held off emotions swamped her. “O-on our wedding night, he bound me to his bed. He was so very strong and cruel and violent. I’d never seen any of that in him before.” And the things he’d done to her that night and the nights since… She hadn’t known such pain existed. But she didn’t want to think about those particulars. Certainly, Fin would allow her that privacy. “When he was through with me, he left me bound there for days. I begged him to free me, but he wouldn’t.” He’d told her when she pleased him, she could go free, his cold and heartless voice striking terror in her young, innocent heart. His eyes that had once seemed to dance with mirth were nearly vacant in expression, almost as though he couldn’t even see her, that she was nothi
ng more than an object meant to be toyed with for his own personal amusement.

  “He left you there?” Fin’s horrified voice filtered into her thoughts. “For days?”

  “Many, many times.” Lissy nodded. Begging and pleading never did her any good. Doing so only proved to anger him more quickly.

  “And what about your cousins? The ones you’d gone to visit? They didn’t lift a finger to help you?” He sounded angrier with each word he spoke.

  Lissy shrugged. It was so hard to explain. If she hadn’t lived the life herself, she doubted she’d understand it. “No one knew. If I ever looked at anyone and wasn’t smiling the way he wanted, he’d be furious later.” She heaved a sigh. “And the threat of his punishment was enough to ensure my silence at all times. You don’t understand what he was capable of.” She’d kept all of this a secret for so long. Now that she was saying the words, they just seemed to spill free.

  Fin grumbled something under his breath, the word punishments, perhaps.

  “If it hadn’t been for Sally, an indentured chambermaid, I think I might very well have died in his bed more than once. She always managed to get me a bit of food and cup of water...salve for my injuries after he was gone. But the bindings were too much for her, expert sailor’s knots, of course. And I suspect she feared for her own life if she were to free me.”

  “Sadistic son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath, his hold tightening just a bit.

  “I had thought,” she continued, lost in horrible flashes of memory from those days in Boston she’d once feared would never end, “things would be easier, that he would be kinder, gentler with me after I was carrying his child.”

  Lissy didn’t even realize she was crying until tears fell to her bodice, dampening the material. She swiped at her tears with the palm of her hand.

  “But he only got worse, and…” A sob she was unable to hold back finally escaped her throat. “There was so much blood. So very much.”

  “Dear God, Lissy.” Fin pulled her closer in his arms. “He made you lose your child?”

  She nodded once, pain and anguish twisting her heart anew. She had wanted that child so desperately. A tiny, little person who would love her no matter what. A child she could hold and dote on, adore for all of her days. But that wasn’t to be. Another sob wrenched from her soul and Lissy couldn’t catch her breath. She couldn’t stop shaking and she couldn’t speak.